'Responsible business means business first, responsibility second'

Yesterday, the 2014-2015 MBA students at the Said Business School, Oxford were invited to the Oxford Union to attend a debate on 'Responsible Business means business first, responsibility second'. The speakers were professors at the School, and successful business women and men.

The proposition stated that the purpose of business was to do business first and be profitable. They further stated that businesses were firstly and fore mostly responsible to their stake holders, and their responsibility to wider society came second. The opposition on the other hand, stated that businesses did not operate in a vacuum but was part of society and therefore had a duty to society at large in their day-to-day operations.

In my opinion, the debate last night did not have any clear points of clash due to the ambiguity in the definition of 'responsible' and 'stakeholders'. The proposition seemed to be saying that a business had to be 'responsible' to its 'stake holders' (shareholders/customers/people affected by the business??) in order to be profitable- it didn't seem to have an ambitious definition of 'responsibility'; while the opposition provided example after example of how 'irresponsible' businesses fared far worse than other companies operating in a particular sector.

I thought that it was really the last speaker for the opposition that presented the issue as having two sides by being clear about what he meant by 'responsible business'. For one, he talked about the 'business' of prostitution and how the application of the proposition's definition of 'success' in terms of immediate profitability to this business was repugnant. He further made the point that no business operated in a vacuum. Decisions taken by businesses affect a wide section of society and therefore businesses are obligated to be responsible to society at large. Although I thought these points were interesting, I felt that the arguments made needed to be broken down further.

During the audience-question answer session an interesting point was made about how big IT companies such as CISCO were only able to give their technology away for free for a good cause (to the Government of India in order to develop the Aadhar Scheme that would enable policy makers to identify people in need of aid) BECAUSE they put profits first and therefore had the resources available to 'do good'. This begs the hypothetical question- if CISCO had given more importance to their responsibility to society, would the good/impact created be more than by giving away technology as charity? Should this question be asked? Does this CSR act as a smoke screen and divert attention away from the real rotten core of the business? Does this kind of CSR really benefit shareholders- in making investing in the company attractive? Or should a CSR strategy in keeping with the fundamental business strategy of the company be developed with the ultimate motive of increasing profitability? Do businesses need to take a larger ethical stance? Is the debate really about the rationalization and kind of Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) that needs to develop rather than if CSR is needed per se? How should small businesses approach CSR?

When I looked up the definition of 'responsible' online, I found the following definition: 'Corporate Social Responsibility is the continuing commitment by business to behave ethically and contribute to economic development while improving the quality of life of the workforce and their families as well as of the local community and society at large.' The Organization of Responsible Business which provides this definition is very clear when it states that it is pro-business and it is essential that remaining profitable is a business' first responsibility. However, it goes on to say that profitability should not be the be-all and end-all and that the 'how' question is also vitally important. But CSR was not always rationalized in this way. An article in the Harvard Business Review implicitly defines 'responsible business' as businesses which worry about long term impact. This definition of responsibility has come a long way from where it started in the early 1900.

This article Lee(2008), traces the evolutionary history of Corporate Social Responsibility. In 1917 Henry Ford tried to defend reinvesting Ford Motor's accumulated profits on plant expansion while slashing the price of Model T vehicles, stating that 'Business is a service, not a bonanza.' This view was not received well by shareholders,or the court. 80 years later when Henry Ford's great-grandson made the same argument, he not only was NOT slapped with a law suit, but also received wide spread support from share holders. What changed?

The article suggests that in 1919 the concept of social responsibilities of a business was couched in a vaguely moral framework so that shareholders could not see how it served this served their interests. In keeping with Adam Smith's market philosophy, businesses saw no reason why they should produce public good services. Intellectuals such as Milton Friedman also strongly opposed CSR because of the danger perceived in shareholder funds being misappropriated in the name of social responsibility. Friedman also did not believe that businesses had the skills or the knowledge to be able to solve social problems.

What changed post 1919 was the rationalization of CSR in terms of the tight coupling between CSR and the financial performance of businesses. The article goes on to state that in a survey conducted by The Conference Board, nearly 90% of corporate managers reported that their companies treat CSR as a core business principle and 70% reported that their company had a corporate foundation that advocated social causes. This change happened because of the number of environmental and safety regulations that came into effect in the 1960s as well as the growth of consumer rights movements. It was in the 1970s however when a clear linkage between CSR and the financial performance of businesses was established with the growth in empirical research. It is to be noted that a greater spending on CSR does not ALWAYS correlate with a better financial performance.

Frederick(1994) posits an interesting theory of how the past morally embedded framework of CSR which led to all sorts of tough decisions ( 1) The kind of operational framework for CSR 2)The institutional mechanism of CSR, 3)Trade-off between economic and social goals and costs, 4) The inherent vagueness of the moral underpinning of CSR) has given way to something he terms as 'corporate social responsiveness' (which he terms as CSR2), where businesses respond to social pressures. This is sometimes termed as soft law. With this idealization, businesses need only worry about how far they have to give in to these pressures, the tools they can use (the micro in-firm strategy and the broader macro/institutional strategy). This thus serves to take the moral heat of businesses, and allows them to think in terms of strategy etc. Simon Zadek in an article in the Harvard Business Review cited earlier says that businesses usually go through a cycle of 'defensive measures, compliance, managerial, strategy, civil' when responding to change. Each stage of this response cycle is interesting. Sometimes businesses can 'comply' with standards and move further in the cycle in spite of the public believing a stronger commitment is required. An example of this provided in the article is the debate on what food companies need to do to tackle the problem of obesity. Michael Porter has written that the problem with this approach is that responding to societal pressure puts businesses on the defensive. This is not always a positive thing.

Clearly, however, social responsiveness is not the same as social responsibility. Some sections of society could be left behind. In addition social movements do not always result in change. This article provides 6 reasons why change is so difficult. Some of the problems lie with consumers. Consumers dont like paying more and that is something that needs to be addressed. Thus in my opinion, the usefulness of responsiveness as opposed to responsibility could have been a question around which the above debate had been framed.

Where in this debate do B-Corporations and social entrepreneurship ventures come in? B Corporations state that environmental and social goals are important to them and that profits are not their ONLY driving force. It is extremely interesting to see how they fit in, into this current debate.

Working with MCGM

The latest facebook fad is to check in at the Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus (because everyone always seems to be either coming to, or leaving from Mumbai, with a status: 'I *heart* Mumbai' or something equally generic.

And everytime I read these generic statuses, I feel my heart burn with 'Mumbaisickness'. Mumbaisickness: a virus that attacks everyone who encounters this city and eats away at its victims' hearts until the victim is forced once again to return. No vaccinations have been invented, no medicine prescribed; Because even though the term is Mumbai'sickness', it isnt really a disease! Oh no! On the contrary it has an opposite effect. It gives soul-weary, heart-hungry people rootlets, a base, a home; With Dreams/without Dreams, the city sucks you in. And as you disappear amidst the lights and become one of its 13 million, quite suddenly, rather strangely, the micro comes into focus. You find yourself recognizing individual acts of charity and compassion. And either you find YOURSELF becoming more charitable and compassionate, or absolutely callous and indifferent- and thats when you know you're through. You cant struggle against 'Mumbaisickness' any longer. It has become part of you.

Yet, anyone who has stayed in Mumbai knows its terrors; The infrastructure bursting through the seams as it tries to hold the ever increasing population, the scores and scores of 'informal housing'- a polite term for slums. Mumbaisickness in its manic focus on the micro, loses the idea of the city as a whole. We- The Infected, fail to see the less sexy, absolutely necessary Mumbai projects that affect our lives, and everyone-we-know's lives, for better or for worse.

In a wild moment when I sought to unearth all the implicit assumptions in my life I decided that I had to learn more.

This led to me coming back to India for a week to work on the waste water disposal system. The next few paragraphs will describe what I learned.

I need to fill in my opening paragraph with a more detailed description of the water piping infrastructure during the British rule. For the time being, dear reader, bear with me and allow me to just say that until the 1980s, Mumbai had a combined water piping and sewage system. By the time the sewage reached the sea, the BOD had decreased and it had become diluted. However, as the population expanded, it became clear that a separate waste water collection network along with water treatment plants were required. Note- that until the 1980s we had no water treatment facilities. The original combined system is now only used for storm water drainage because of the large diameter of the pipes.

Current waste water collection covers 40-45% of the city. Though it is easy laying separate waste water collection pipelines for buildings and cooperative housing societies, it is incredibly difficult to lay such pipelines for slum dwellers. This is because of the density of the slums and the lack of toilets. A scheme funded by the World Bank was dreamed up to provide toilet blocks for slums with an underground drainage system. However, the World Bank had 'local participation' as a criterion and hence each household was expected to pay Rs 100 in order to use the facilities. Unused to having to pay for services, very few households complied and the scheme failed. To learn more, read this article.

Currently some toilets have septic tanks attached and the waste water after a give retention period is then washed out through the nullahs into the uncomplaining, misused, abused Mithi river. Current schemes to a) Treat the nullahs themselves b) Divert the nullahs into a huge waste water treatment plant. If the nullah is to be diverted then care must be taken that adequate disaster management precautions must be taken.

Mumbai has been built on reclaimed land - For a history of land reclamation in Mumbai refer to this- Don't think reclamation has stopped either! The link I've embedded in this post describes the current aggressive land reclamation strategy for development projects the city desperately needs! The Bandra Worli Sealink is one such project. (Land reclamation for this project may have had an adverse effect on tides in some parts of Bombay. Refer to this link for more details.) And when are we reminded of this the most? When the monsoon and high tides hit the city simultaneously the sea reclaims what it has lost for its own. Why only a couple of weeks ago in Dadar, high tides caused severe flooding

Such a situation might result in either the water nullah backflowing and flooding the city or water overflowing into the sea without being adequately treated. Flap gates and other precautionary measures must be taken for both situations.

It could be said that solutions a) and b) proposed above are a tacit acceptance of the de facto status quo. Now, now the last was a snide and uncalled for remark. I have to add that there are still vast efforts being put into building public toilets in Mumbai- the following is an example. No I wasnt being serious again- a dreadful habit I've fallen into! But honestly- forget the over hyped? 35 lakh public toilet. Just imagine providing sanitation to the 8 million slum dwellers who live back to back, a hand to mouth existence in the midst of this city! Isn't it an awesome and terrifying proposition?

So lets skim over it and hope that in time solutions will be found and concentrate on the next step of the problem- Water treatment! A topographical study was carried out in 1995 that divided Mumbai into 7 zones- Colaba, Worli, Bandra, Ghatkophar, Bhandup, Malad, Versova. Treatment plants were proposed to be built in the low lying areas of these regions in order for a gravity driven procedure to collect sewage. At the time this survey was carried out- the importance of maintaining the mangrove coverage in Mumbai was not factored in. Therefore single stage aeration lagoons were built in these areas to treat sewage. Why aeration lagoons? They were state of the art technology at that time. In addition they generated very little sludge. The disposal of sludge is very difficult. However, aeration lagoons occupy a large surface area- this means that several mangroves were cut down at that time to build these aeration lagoons.

Now, the quality of the waste water at the outlet of the aeration lagoons does not meet the BOD/COD standards prescribed by the pollution board of India. I am still unclear now as to why a single stage aeration lagoon was built and not a double or triple stage process. Did the standards increase over time or did the quality of the sewage deteriorate as the number of people expanded?

Whatever the answer to that question might be, the water treatment facilities need to be improved. Multi stage aeration lagoons were considered, however, as they would occupy a much larger area, and in several of the sites entail further clearance of mangroves, an activated sludge process was recommended instead. Clearly, in this new scenario, the disposal of the sludge will be a problem that will have to be contended with. The process will also require vast amounts of energy. Simultaneous generation of biogas from the sewage has been proposed which can partially cover the energy costs.

A major problem is that no lagoon/nothing exists in Malad currently for waste water treatment. Therefore, whatever be the process, a waste water plant has to be built in Malad and this will involve the cutting down of a lot of mangroves- 35 ha to be precise! Can an alternative site be chosen? It would be very energetically expensive- in terms of pumping to choose another site. This is a tradeoff that will have to swing one way or the other. There are other problems with the other sites as well. For example, in Bandra, the land on which the facility was going to be built is in the hands of Reliance. This is because Reliance had got the contract to build the second proposed sealink (an idea which has now been shelved). The land has still not been transferred back.

Why do these waste water treatment facilities take such a long time to build? This is because field work has to be carried out to survey each site. Most of this field work is done in areas which are covered with mangroves. Special permission needs to be taken to do work within 50 m of mangroves and this takes time. In 1995, a GIS database of manholes in Mumbai was built up. However, over the years roads have changed and this database has not been updated. Therefore, it is impossible to reply on this database for information and field work is a necessity. In addition prior to the execution of any project an environmental impact assessment and a disaster management plan need to be in place. The approval of such plans takes time

What is the administrative process for the design of this plant? MCGM comes up with a design for the plant with an estimate of how much the plant costs. MCGM then throws the process up on accepts tender offers- basically contractors then pitch their offers to build the plant. They are not constrained to use the MCGM design but have to ensure that the plant meets certain standards. An interesting improvement in the process is that now the contractor not only has to guarantee that the plant will work but also that he/she will take care of operating the plant. This is a positive step to ensure the plant runs at an acceptable standard.

The current work that I am doing in Mumbai is carrying out an independent review of the Bhandup waste water plant. I have seen that the uncertainty analysis carried out for many projects is not rigorous. During the first monsoon the Ghatkopar aeration lagoons were overflowing as they had not been designed to accommodate large flows of water during the monsoon. I hope to make this analysis more rigorous.

Another thing that I noticed was that most of the plans are based on the fact that Mumbai has adequate water- no water recycling of sewage has been thought about. Mumbai gets most of its water supply from dams located out of the city. I am not sure about the status of this water supply. I do know that rain water harvesting has been made compulsory in the city- but there has been very little follow through. Some colonies have been procative about recycling gray water but otherwise not much has been accomplished.

The above is a detailed description of the waste water disposal projects going on in Mumbai

Environmental Education

John Parry conducted an Environmental Education workshop for us ECMers on the Friday of 5th week in the Hilary term.

Just like that, Oxford presented us with yet another opportunity of contributing to the environment that we were not previously aware of.

The workshop ran for the entire day and covered a whole vista of topics. The one thing that really stuck with me however, was how the environment could be used a fulcrum to leverage the capabilities of all members of society. Dr. Parry told us how he had taught a group of disabled adults to take photographs of the UK coastline and upload the photographs online, in order to document coastline recession. Geologists had found these photographs extremely useful in their research. This project had made that band of adults feel useful, and included, in a by and large rather indifferent society. It had changed their lives for the better.

How could I make use of this lesson? Fired, I wrote to ADAPT, an NGO in India which aims to provide an inclusive education to disabled, and abled children. I asked them to give me permission to conduct an environmental workshop for their kids. I hoped that I could, when I got back to Mumbai, after my stint at Oxford, collaborate with this organization on projects to document environmental considerations in Mumbai just like the ones Dr. Parry was conducting in the UK. I felt that by establishing contact with ADAPT and seeing how they ran, I would be able to think of ways I could make my plan possible.

For a long time, I received no reply to my email, and I eventually forgot about it. Time flew on at Oxford and then it was time to go home for a brief 2 week vacation. While I was lolling around the house one morning, my mother asked me what had happened to my workshop plans. I told her ruefully that I had received no reply and that I guess that meant I was stymied.

My mother snorted. 'If you really want a reply, you'd call them instead of hemming and hawing using emails,' she said.

And that's what happened. I called, and found myself invited to give a talk on the environment to about 30 kids between the ages 8 and 16 on Tuesday!

I had the biggest, baddest, meanest butterflies carousing around in my stomach for the next 4 days.

It's all very well, giving a talk to a room full of adults, but talking to children is vastly different! How on earth was I going to convince a bunch of 7 or 8 year-olds that climate change, and the environment were important?

Most of the kids of ADAPT lived in slums. Why would they care about seemingly abstract, existential threats?

I decided, that I had to make my lecture pertinent to their lives. I had to tell them how environmental degradation affected THEM. I decided to focus on environmental degradation that they could actually see in their (and my) home city- Mumbai.

On Tuesday my aunt Del and I left 2 hours ahead of schedule and took a train to Churchgate station. (I had successfully roped my aunt in to give me moral support, and translation of words I didn't know the Hindi equivalent of!) We arrived at the ADAPT headquarters near the Afghan church. I nervously made my way inside the building to meet the Director I had been in touch with on the phone.

The school was charming. It overlooked the sea and had the kind of playground at the back that should feature in every person's childhood.

ADAPT provided Std 1 to 8 education. It also provided vocational training to 17 and 18 year olds. I peeped into the classrooms which were gaily covered with art and craft. I saw a little kid who was mute, typing out an answer to his teachers question on a computer. I saw kids on wheel chairs lustily shouting out encouragement to their friends running around the classroom. I felt a terrible sadness suddenly come over me. Surviving in India is a struggle for even the most able of bodies. After these children left ADAPT, the world would not be kind to them.

I set up my laptop in a classroom. I felt a little silly already. It had been so long since I was 7, that I forgot that a powerpoint presentation was really not the right way to engage a child! I wanted to turn and run. Luckily my aunt put her foot down and I sat down on the mat next to my laptop sick with fear. All of a sudden thirty 7-8 year old kids had swarmed into the room and were clustered around me.

I needn't have been afraid of getting this lot engaged!

As soon as they saw my opening slide (a picture of the earth, from space) I was besieged with questions on all sides, asking me if I had any accompanying music, where India was on my image and specifically where ADAPT was located, and what my name was! I laughingly tried to answer all questions in my questionable hindi.

I wanted to start my presentation by asking the kids what challenges they felt the earth was facing. I didn't want their answers to be limited by the environment.

Unfortunately, the kids were too interested in the satellite image of the Earth itself to bother answering my question. In despair, I tried bringing up a few problems that I thought they would relate to. I talked about the 26/7 floods in 2005. The kids looked at me with blank faces. I realized in horror, that these tiny tots were too young to remember the ravages caused by the floods.

I moved on to the terrorist attacks on the Taj Hotel in 2008. But alas and alack! All they wanted to know was how that image of the Earth had been taken! I felt a deep, violent hatred for satellite imagery.

I pressed ahead. I gave them a brief over view of green house gas warming in as simple a manner as I thought possible. I paused after my explanation for questions. One girl raised her hand. 'Are green houses, the same as polio houses?' she said.

As far as I knew, polio was a disease! Had I not only managed to NOT convey the concept to the children, but had I actually managed to confuse global warming and a disease?! I kept my cool, and asked the girl to tell me what a polio house was.

She told me that she had lived in Uttarakhand when she was a child and there they grew certain plants in structures- that they called polio houses, which looked exactly like the Green House in the photograph I had on my slide. Listening to this explanation, I thought it were possible that the two could be the same. Just to be sure though, I repeated my explanation of what a green house gas was twice or thrice in order to remove any confusion.

By this time, most of the kids were yawning and looking out at their playground wistfully.

'That's okay, Priyanka!' I whispered to myself. 'The worst is over. The green house gas effect hath been explained!'

I moved on to air, water and noise pollution in Mumbai. I showed them images of Mumbai in the past with vast plantations of mangroves which acted like natural sluices and kept the Mithi river clean. I then showed them recent images of Mumbai where construction of Essel World (an amusement park), the Bandra Kurla Complex etc had led to the clearing away of most of the plantations. The kids cheered when I showed them a picture of Essel World and then seemed rather doubtful about how to react when I told them how many acres of mangroves had been cleared away to build it. I felt I was pushing it with that one.

I then told them about Sanjay Gandhi National Park and how encroachment was leading to increased leopard attacks in Powai.

I finished my lecture with a flourish!

I then stepped back and confidently asked the class. 'So who can tell me what they have learned?'
Utter silence.
I panicked. The kids must have seen my face, because one of the boys tentatively answered, 'Terrorism is a big problem?'

I explained the green house gas effect another couple of times.

This time when I ended, I was too smart to repeat my mistake. I asked the kids. 'What can you do about saving the environment?'
I got the answers I was looking for: Using dustbins, public transport etc.

I regained my popularity (which had gone down markedly after the final explanation of the green house gas effect) by distributing sweets to the kids who answered my questions correctly.

I left the lecture feeling that I had aged a decade.

A moment or two in the warm, comforting sunshine and I had jumped on to my next project. I decided to write a textbook on the environment for school children. Anyone who is mad enough to want to collaborate with me, or who knows how one can go about doing something like this is requested to please drop me a line!

Driver of Life Decisions

Hi.

Have you ever wondered what would happen if everyone on the planet suddenly vanished and you were the only one left?

Maybe you havent, in which case now would be a good time to think about it.

Let the thought sink into your brain. You, just you, are left. Trains are probably crashing into each other as we speak. Planes are nosediving towards the earth and cars lie whirring helpless against obstacles. Now, silence.

What do you do?

Do you have the skills required to survive?

Can you plumb/cook/fix a car/weld your way to survival?

Yes, dear Reader. This is my worst nightmare. Its a vision that has plagued me for as long as I can remember.

I've really tried to do something about it. I really have!

I tried my best to pick up carpentry skills from my grandfather. I remember trying to clumsily operate his fretwork machine in order to shape a block of wood.
My aunt gave me a dremel set when I was 11, and I remember watching in awe as my grandfather skillfully changed the bits, and made all manner of clever little wooden figures, puzzles and knick knacks.

I'm sure I can theoretically operate a dremel. I understand the functionality of each bit; But when it comes to actually picking up a piece of wood and DOING something I'm afraid I'd be utterly inept.

I even got my aunt to teach me how to knit at some point (Just in case I had to make my own clothes). Well that didnt work out well either (Big Surprise)

Could I EVER do anything useful?
I gave up in despair.

And then a light dawned.
What would be my biggest problems if the world actually ended
1) Nuclear powerplants: It'd be rather pathetic to survive something which had killed off everyone else and then die in a nuclear explosion (OR, would it be the kewlest thing evaaah?)
2) What would the point be of my life if I didnt have any friends?

Because of reason 2) I became obsessed with wanting to understand quantum mechanics. I felt that if I understood it, I would be able to explain to myself clearly why God did/didnt exist and therefore understand the purpose of existence. It is for this reason, that when I entered IIT, I decided to take as many physics electives as possible.

Because of 1) I took as many nuclear courses as possible as well. Surely if I understood how a reactor was controlled, I would be able to drive to BARC in Mumbai, storm into the nuclear fission center and turn off the damn thing (not that simple as I now understand)

Looking back, this was the real driver of all the choices I made.
Yes, my decisions were driven by supplemental reasons, but this was the driver that triggered my interest in Physics and Nuclear engineering in the first place.

What a childish way of making life decisions!

I mean, it couldnt ever be possible that I would be the only one of a population of 7 billion people left on Earth.
(Or then again, Could it?)

Cooking

The problem is I'm an optimist. Not the happy-go-lucky kind; But the kind who takes the role of being an optimist very seriously.

Show me a gray sky and I promise to scour it carefully until I find the tiny spot of blue in it! Tell me your pet fer-de-lance died, and I'll reassure you that its in a better place (and well there are always dogs), etc. until I convince myself, and hopefully you, that things are better than before.

So when I told K that I would arrange a delicious cultural night for his mother when she visited Oxford; And then sat up all night worrying how I would ever cook ANY of the things I had promised to; I managed to convince myself that BBC recipes and an understanding of heat transfer was all that I required. Did it matter that Id never made an omelette in my life? 'Course not! Nadia Giosia, at some point, must have scrambled an egg for the first time too! And it must have been a pretty good egg for her to have made a career of it. Hence proved. I could totally, without any experience at all, make a 3 course authentic Indian meal.

Finally Sunday arrived. I had spent the whole of Saturday buying everything that I thought would be useful, from good ol garam masala to obscure herb things. I felt I had done a pretty good job! PB was kind enough to say she would help me and we had planned on making a Konkan prawn curry and rice.

We started well in advance.

We lugged the prawns out of their neat Tesco cases and mixed them with coconut milk in a handi. We put the rice in the pressure cooker and allowed it cook.

'Pdez, wheres the salt?,' PB asked.
I triumphantly opened the cabinet drawer and showed her the vast array of masalas I had bought the previous day.

'It's right in here,' I said. 'Arent I well organized?' (I always feel very grownupish when I pronounce myself to be 'well organized)

We painstakingly went through each of the neatly labelled containers in quest of the salt.
I painstakingly went through them again.
I was about to start going through them for the third time, when PB said (a trifle irritably)

'Its not here dude. Though why on earth you have Slovakian wild gnarl essence and Icelandic wagawaga powder and NOT have salt is beyond me!'

I was about to expostulate. Why maybe the absence of salt would inspire us with some sort of molecular gastronomy idea, and perhaps we'd prepare a meal that would be in culinary textbooks. Maybe this was Fate _thrusting_ greatness on to us! I sniffed at PB's rebuke, and when she wasnt looking added a mix of spices to the prawns. I was sure shed thank me later because OFCOURSE I would share credit!

K and his mother arrived soon after. K had with him a large frozen pizza, a chicken and plenty of drinks. 'Just in case the Indian food doesnt work out' he said. I snorted.

'Ye of little faith! Not only are you going to have the greatest Indian food of your life, but you're also going to have to eat all this pizza and chicken yourself because no one will want to eat it after our concoction!

K rolled his eyes. Its a pity he knows me a tad too well.

'Well put the pizza in the oven and I'll eat it if I have to' he answered.

I assented and popped it in. I turned the dial until I saw the light come on and stepped back muttering curse words that sounded like 'unnecessary' and 'useless'

It was meal time! PB and I took the prawn curry and rice off the stove. I bore the handi to the table, feeling like some kind of high priestess.
PB and I had cooked an awful lot and I gave everyone a generous helping!

K took the first bite and a peculiar expression came on his face. He and his mother sat quietly, chewing in grim, determined silence. I instantly knew something was wrong! I took a bite.

Dear Reader, I have never tasted anything as horrible as that mixture in my life. It tasted like- Oh I cant even describe it! I whipped everyones plates from them. I was nearly in tears. I rushed to the oven to take out the pizza. It was still frozen! PB came rushing after me.

'Dont worry Pdez! Isnt it great we have a lovely pizza! -- Oh you silly girl, why havent you turned the oven on!'

'I did!' I gulped. Look at the light!

PB pushed past me and did something. All of a sudden, a warmth filled the room. 'Oh dear, didnt you know there is a separate button for the light?'

Everyone burst into a cloud of merriment. In 15 minutes we were cozily eating hot pizza in the kitchen.

After everyone left, I quietly went back and tried a teaspoon of the prawn curry. Ugh, it actually WAS as bad as the first time.
I sighed.

Well, next time I'll probably try something simpler!

One for the Road

In less than a week, I'd have bid India adieu.
("Adieu, adieu to you and you and you! *trill*) 5 points for getting the Sound of Music reference.

I'm trying so hard to be serious and responsible, but I feel frivolous, flippant and a little crazy.

There are so many things I'm going to leave behind: My parents, a small pet sister, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, my baby bird and the best 5 years at IIT that anyone could ever ask for.

It seems funny that in spite of knowing all this, I don't feel sad or worried or scared, just excited! Those 5 years were precious because of the people they were composed of. Now that all those people have started on with the next phase of their lives, all I feel is an intense desire to get my show on the road!

I can't seem to view this 2 month holiday as 'Life' but as a temporary lull, a sort of tea break before work starts again. (Is work becoming life?!) Or am I so excited about going to study at Oxford, that I've viewed these 2 months simply as preparation for Oxford and not as a break in themselves?

This is not to say, that I haven't slept, eaten and enjoyed myself in this holiday! No siree! It's just that, these 2 months have not seemed real to me.

Well, dear kind readers! My next post shall be from Oxford. Are you as excited as I am? (Don't answer that. I know you're not. I just had to ask)

Driving

One of my worst fears is that I'll never be a good driver.

I'm uncoordinated, careless, a day dreamer and mild. None of which are exactly the hall marks of a great driver; Especially if you're going to be driving in Mumbai. I watch my mother expertly navigating her way around rickshaws, trucks, BEST buses and secretly wonder if I could ever do all that AND yell at a daughter sitting in the next seat.

But to Roll Over and Die is not the deSouza's motto. I don't really know what our motto is, but it is definitely not that! No, we deSouza's face our Fears. Or in my case, we bypass them entirely.

The way I do this, is to pretend the opposite! I sat up at nights and thought fiercely, until I allowed my imagination to convince my brain, that I was actually not afraid. I goaded myself into believing that I was not only good at driving, but I was the best! The only reason my burgeoning skill had not been revealed to the world was because I hadn't had the opportunity!- The cons of being burdened by highly skeptical parents who are fiercely protective of their cars.

What could I do then?

The next best option seemed to be: go-karting!

After months of raving about the social, economic and environmental advantages of a go karting spin, I managed to convince my wing mates that the old Hiranindani arena was the place to be! We crowded around the ticketing counter one evening. "8 laps or 12?" asked the lackadaisical voice from behind the window. "12", I said firmly. "Are you crazy, Priyanka?! We've never done this before. None of us know how to drive and you want 12 laps," came the furious chorus. "12," I replied inexorably. If I was going to showcase my skill to the world, I was going to do nothing by halves!

We put on our helmets in grim silence. And all of a sudden we were off!

Dear Reader, I never felt such a thrill before in my life! For three seconds down that smooth, straight track, I had the wind in my hair, and stars in my eyes. I WAS a great driver. How could I have ever doubted that? And then came nemesis in the form of- A Turn.

Three seconds later, I had crashed into a cascade of tires.

While waiting to be extricated, I watched my other wingmates despondently, as they skimmed around the arena with skilfull ease. By the time a grinning agent had got me and the car back on track most of them had finished their 12 laps and were talking about it gleefully. They waited and watched in awe as I, determined to get my money's worth, painstakingly completed each lap at an average speed of 10 kmph. 20 kmph on the straight parts and ~0 near corners.

At long last I drew the car to a halt and got out. Maybe, I was a really good driver, I guess I just wasn't good at go-karting.