I suddenly feel so miserably insignificant today.
Everything I do is so pointless. I feel like I've been battling the universe to prove something and today I just can't seem to remember what that thing is.
It all started when this morning when I started looking at photographs on facebook and saw congratulatory posts and I had this weird 'dwarfing feeling' as Aditya B says.
Then the procedural maze at the lab to use a simple XRD apparatus bogged me down. To access XRD results, I have to wait TWO WEEKS. It took me a week to get signatures and now they're going to take another week for the scan. A black box period. How will I trust their results?! Maybe they'll feel lazy this week and give me some bogus data!
Why am I running around, fighting the system?!
Then I met my professor and he just found it funny that things are so slow in IIT. Hello? What about me dude? I felt unutterably weary as I sat in his office. Okay, I know I'm not myself when I feel an analogy from Harry Potter bubbling up to the surface. But I honestly felt as if a Dementor was sitting next to me, sucking up every positive feeling I had. I felt so drained.
Anyway time for a nap to forget everything. Then quiz time. :-/
Yay me!
To say I'm pissed would be an understatement.
I found the above post in my drafts. I guess it was too depressing for me to want to put it up on my blog at that time. I'm feeling blue again, dear reader. Life isn't the rosy sunset I once dreamed it would be. I'm going to mix up Ignatius Loyola's quote now, 'What profits a man if he gains the whole world but doesn't have a single friend to rejoice and celebrate with?'. I'm lucky and grateful to have made the best, most loyal friends in college. I've met people I've admired tremendously, so why do I keep wanting things I don't/can't have?
Everything I do is so pointless. I feel like I've been battling the universe to prove something and today I just can't seem to remember what that thing is.
It all started when this morning when I started looking at photographs on facebook and saw congratulatory posts and I had this weird 'dwarfing feeling' as Aditya B says.
Then the procedural maze at the lab to use a simple XRD apparatus bogged me down. To access XRD results, I have to wait TWO WEEKS. It took me a week to get signatures and now they're going to take another week for the scan. A black box period. How will I trust their results?! Maybe they'll feel lazy this week and give me some bogus data!
Why am I running around, fighting the system?!
Then I met my professor and he just found it funny that things are so slow in IIT. Hello? What about me dude? I felt unutterably weary as I sat in his office. Okay, I know I'm not myself when I feel an analogy from Harry Potter bubbling up to the surface. But I honestly felt as if a Dementor was sitting next to me, sucking up every positive feeling I had. I felt so drained.
Anyway time for a nap to forget everything. Then quiz time. :-/
Yay me!
To say I'm pissed would be an understatement.
I found the above post in my drafts. I guess it was too depressing for me to want to put it up on my blog at that time. I'm feeling blue again, dear reader. Life isn't the rosy sunset I once dreamed it would be. I'm going to mix up Ignatius Loyola's quote now, 'What profits a man if he gains the whole world but doesn't have a single friend to rejoice and celebrate with?'. I'm lucky and grateful to have made the best, most loyal friends in college. I've met people I've admired tremendously, so why do I keep wanting things I don't/can't have?
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